Taking responsibility for your feelings= taking back control and gaining empowerment.
Well I was hoping to write a blog post a bit sooner but I then life got busy. I've once again picked up 'feel the fear and do it anyway' and continue to learn from it. I highly recommend getting a copy, especially if you are feeling a bit stuck in a situation that isn't making you happy. The main theme I've been reading about today is the concept of reclaiming your power.
This chapter starts with thinking about whether you are playing the role of a victim or taking responsibility for your life. At first when reading this I thought 'nah pretty sure I have a fair bit of control' but as I read on I had to rethink this conclusion. Ask yourself how much you find yourself stuck in something you don't like, blaming others for problems, complaining etc...? By doing all of these things you are giving away your power. Yes someone may have done something to upset you but it is your response to it that keeps you stuck in the negative thought pattern.
“Until you fully understand that you, and no one else, create what goes on in your head you will never be in control of your life.”
This is not about then blaming yourself but rather taking responsibility for the way you think, the way you choose to feel, act and be. One phrase that really stuck out to me was:
“You have always done the best you possibly could, given the person you were at any particular time”
You did what you could to survive, you did what you could based on the knowledge, skills, support or resources you had at that time. It is so easy for us to use hindsight and think “why did I allow that to happen, why did I act so stupid”. You did the best you could at that time. Be kind to yourself! Use this new perspective you have on the past situation as a learning point not a blaming point.
She writes about starting to notice when you are not taking responsibility, start to tune into your thoughts and notice when you give all the power away to everyone else. Once you notice this you can reclaim it. This isn't easy as you have to deal with the inner turmoil of your thoughts and all the possibly scenarios/ blame etc your mind takes you to. Start to also notice and reflect on the “pay offs” that are keeping you stuck. It might be that it's the easy option or its comfortable. Once you are aware of that you then have a choice! Is it worth trying something out of your comfort zone to change the situation? If not, are you prepared to accept the situation but change the way you view it? When you start to practice and realise you have responsibility for your feelings it is a game changer. You go from one possibility to endless- you can choose how you feel. Reflecting on all of this I don't think it is easy at all but the more you practice and become aware, the more power you reclaim and the more power you have to try more, push yourself, challenge yourself and grow.